Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Be who you already are.

California schools are very liberal. Do you think California schools are teaching students to hate Republican views (views on: God, guns, prayer, secure borders, etc.)?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why acetaminophen works: New discovery ends longstanding mystery - Medical Xpress

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

NASA raises the odds that an asteroid could hit the moon in 2032 - Space

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.

What is your young sex story?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

And the sadness?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Haunting Image Shows The Moon Deimos From The Surface of Mars - ScienceAlert

I had run out of hope.

It’s still here.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Chrysler Is 100 Years Old, and It's 'Back On,' Stellantis Design Boss Gilles Says - Road & Track

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

The Best Lunch to Eat if You Have High Cholesterol, Recommended by a Dietitian - EatingWell

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I was tired of fighting.

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

The sadness was still there.

It’s here now, writing to you.